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Sleepers Unbound #9: Free Books for a Lunatic

Jan 17, 2017



From: MariaHolstrom@BHPublishing.com

to BrandonUpton@BHPublishing.com

Subject: Interesting phone call

03 AUG 2016, 02:05 PM


As lead receptionist of a prominent publishing house, I fully recognize it’s my responsibility to answer the phone, but there’s only so many expletives I can take before this smile you pay me for begins to fade. Sooner or later, I’m going to have to ask for that raise, Mr. Upton, and you’re not going to be able to say no.


From: BrandonUpton@BHPublishing.com

to MariaHolstrom@BHPublishing.com

Subject: Re: Interesting phone call

03 AUG 2016, 02:15 PM


Sweet Maria, this is publishing. Believe me, we all deserve a raise. If you bought your son half as many books as you do video games, I’m convinced corporate would bring back our holiday bonuses with all that extra cash to distribute. Of course, now that the Nicholas Sleeper novels are finished, maybe we wouldn’t see those bonuses after all. Based on what we’ve been hearing from upstairs, I wouldn’t be surprised if they started declining our vacation time, too.


From: MariaHolstron@BHPublishing.com

to BrandonUpton@BHPublishing.com

Subject: Re: Re: Interesting phone call

03 AUG 2016, 02:20 PM


Since when did reception ever get a holiday bonus? That was cold, even for an uppety-up like yourself.

Speaking of those novels, I just got off the phone with a woman threatening to sue. Before you have a heart-attack, let me say right off the bat I don’t think there’s anything to worry about with this one. She claims we sent her an email and offered her a chance to write under Miles Granger’s pen-name.  Something about a forum or website or something. I don’t know. Couldn’t make out half of it over all the cursing. I did manage to get her name—Lucy Gill. I checked the database, and it looks like she submitted an unsolicited mystery/thriller in 2008. Surprise, surprise. It was rejected.

You guys really need to let some of these people off a little easier. Or else I’ll start directing the phone line straight into your office. You crush their dreams. I just answer the phone. You want me to start crushing dreams, let me see one of them holiday bonuses.


From: BrandonUpton@BHPublishing.com

To MariaHolstron@BHPublishing.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Interesting phone call

03 AUG 2016, 02:30 PM


Last thing we need is Legal catching wind of a potential law suit. Especially this week. Corporate is holding a meeting on Wednesday to discuss end-of-year. Rumor is they’re looking to make some major changes now that Granger’s out of the picture. They expect sales to run bone dry once the hype and media attention flutters. That’s what you get for putting all your eggs in one basket. I’ve been saying it for years, Maria. As if cutting our editor’s isn’t enough, they’re upstairs pocketing all this cash from the spike in Sleeper sales while we’re in the sewers working twice as hard to cover editorial cutbacks, worrying about our jobs. Needless to say, there’s going to be a new cutback list, and I don’t wanna be on it. Forward me Lucy Gill’s contact information. Better get me her manuscript too. If nothing else, I’ll use flattery and send a couple free Granger books her way.

© Elliott J. Scott 2017. All Rights Reserved.