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Castro Bridge Mix #10: Holding Hands

Nov 24, 2013

“Is this heaven? It’s me, God. Margaret here. Whoops, wrong story. Sorry, Judy Blume. I mean it’s just me, JT.” Waffles could see everything around him in a soft gold and purple haze. He looked down at a magnificent burgundy rose and rolled its stem between his thumb and forefinger. He sniffed it intensely waiting for his sense of smell to be reawakened. Nothing. His fingers brushed over the flower’s petals one at a time. He bolted upright. “Silk flowers? Oh boy, am I screwed. The straights run heaven.”

A delicate hand instantly captured his inside its gentle grip. “You’re very much a part of the living, Mr. Waffles.” It was Lullabelle’s voice.

Waffles looked around at his surroundings and he realized that he was inside a hospital room holding hands with Lullabelle. He cleared his throat and winced as he felt a shooting pain in his side from the injuries he must have sustained to land him in there. “I thought I finally made it into Heaven. You know, I’ll tell you. This whole experience is almost as disappointing as the time I went into a big black building called DICKS and I found out it was just a place to pick up sporting equipment.”

“You’re gonna be all right, Waffles.” Dereck took hold of his other hand. Looking up into Dereck’s handsome face, Waffles felt like he was gazing into the face of an angel.

“Well, I do like the hand holding thing we’ve all got going on here. I feel like I’m gonna start singing Kumbaya or something. But, what the Hell happened to me?”  Waffles face brightened when he realized that several of his priceless pieces of pop art from Andy Warhol and Keith Haring were hung on the wall facing him.

Dereck stepped aside and a police officer stood next to the side of Waffles’ bed. “We were kind of hoping that you could help us out with that, Mr. Madison.”

“All I remember is talking with Lyrick and going to get my car and then the next thing I know I’m here on an episode of Fifty Shades of Grey’s Anatomy.”

Lullabelle blotted her tear-streaked cheeks with a handkerchief. “That Lyrick fella saved your life, Mr. Waffles. He chased off the person who attacked you.”

“Lyrick saved me?” Waffles had a hard time digesting the fact that one of the people he liked least in the world had actually saved his life. He turned to the police officer. “Did he give you a description of the attacker?”

Dereck tried to calm Waffles. “We have a description, but it was dark out. It sounds like it was a homeless man who was about six feet tall covered with a lot of facial hair. But we’ll find whoever did this to you.”

“A homeless man who forgot to shave. In San Francisco?” Oh well. With a description like that I think we should be finding out who did this any minute now.” Waffles looked at his art and suddenly he experienced a tinge of panic. “I’m not dying or anything here, am I?  I love that my art’s here and everything. But isn’t this what Shirley MacLaine did for Debra Winger in Terms of Endearment? It didn’t turn out too well for Deb’s character if you know what I mean.”

Lullabelle kissed him on the cheek. “You should spend less time worrying about your health and more time landing your big movie role.”

Waffles had tried to forget his agent’s last call to him. He was so embarrassed that he hadn’t told anyone at Mae’s about it. Not even Lullabelle. “They passed on me before they’d even let me audition for the part.  They said America just couldn’t get beyond having an openly gay leading man as the central character in an action adventure movie franchise from the get go. At least not their action adventure franchise movie. I think I’m better off behind the camera.”

Dereck immediately countered. “That’s total crap. What about Zachary Quinto as Spock in the Star Trek movies?”

“Yeah. I said that too, but they said he came out after America had gotten used to him in the role.” Waffles tried to cross his arms across his chest, but he was in too much pain.

“Well, Mr. Waffles, perhaps your retirement from being in front of the camera is a bit premature. You see, I received a call from Tony your agent just the other day.” Lullabelle ran her finger lightly over the top of the frame of Waffles’ Andy Warhol painting Mae West.

“Yeah, where the fifteen percent is my agent?” Waffles looked around the room.

Dereck smiled at him and held Waffles’ hand. He lowered his voice as he realized the severity of Waffles’ injuries. “We convinced him to give you some time to recover.”

Lullabelle bent over so that she could be as close as possible to Waffles as she spoke. “There’s been an outpouring of fan support for you after you were attacked at Mae’s. It seems that the studio has reconsidered their decision.  You see, Mr. Waffles. You are very loved. No matter who you choose to love. They love you for you.”


I’m sure you realize that District 5 of which Eureka Valley and the Castro are part has less than two weeks of inventory. Everything is going way over asking. I can’t put you to the head of the line without the best possible offer for my client.”  Maggie Austin was San Francisco’s most aggressive and successful real estate agent in the Castro/Eureka Valley.

Jensen paced the office as she flipped through the folder she had carefully constructed on her dream fixer. She read through the 3R report for the fifteenth time. “Come on now, Maggie. I’m offering close to a thousand a square foot for a dump with a partial view that’s only worth the value of its land.” Jensen had an uneasy feeling as she watched her former mortgage broker and Maggie’s on-again/off-again lover enter the office. In the far off corner was an enormous toy chest. Jensen wondered if Maggie had been expanding her territory to neighboring Noe Valley which was also nicknamed Stroller Valley due to its high number of parents with young children.

Well, I’ll tell you what, Jen. If you play by our rules you can get the house and a happy ending.” Maggie and Cassie had decided that Jensen would make a nice addition to their afternoon activities.

“Well, it looks like you ladies have the winning hand.” Jensen watched as both her real estate agent and her ex-mortgage broker began unbuttoning each other’s silk blouses. The deal on the table was a lesbian three-way in return for preferred consideration on the fixer-upper Jensen so desperately wanted and which was guaranteed to head into a heated bidding war.

Cassie playfully tugged at Jensen’s belt buckle. Her voice was the softest of the three very attractive women. “Come on. Get comfy, Jen.”

If this had been a year earlier, Jensen would have told these two that she was a one-woman woman. She would have still been with Tanya. But without any prospects and a shit credit score from Tanya’s mindless credit card binges — Jensen knew she had to get creative to get what she wanted. She watched very carefully as Maggie unlocked a huge toy chest off to the side of the back office. “I can see that you ladies have quite the afternoon planned for us.”

Maggie grinned impishly. “Jensen, we’re going to make you feel so fuckin’ amazing that you won’t even remember what you’re over here trying to get out of us.”

Jensen shucked off her blouse and tight jeans and allowed the two women to unfasten her bra freeing her rather ample but firm breasts. She kept hearing Maggie’s words over and over again in her head. Jensen thought to herself. Oh yes, I will remember what I’m after. You can bet your sweet ass on that, Maggie.


Copyright © 2013.  Will Morrison.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.